


A Fine Line

by skywarrior108



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-24
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-04 00:32:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skywarrior108/pseuds/skywarrior108
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn is forced to examine the true nature of her feelings for Rachel after some pushing from Kurt and Mercedes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this story in 2010 and published it on FF.net the summer of 2010. This was my first fan fic for Glee, and it's set after "Bad Reputation" and continues on to the end of "Journey," playing off of canon events.

"Hey, Q?" Mercedes asked as the pair walked through the school parking lot after glee practice.

"Yeah?"

"You made the GList, didn't you?"

Quinn could tell from her tone that she already knew the answer. It hadn't been accusing; it was more like a statement of fact.

She sighed with resignation and stopped walking, and Mercedes took that as a confirmation. "Thought so," she said smugly, turning to face Quinn, who had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed. "What I want to know is why you left half the club off the list."

"You mean you want to know why I left you off the list, right?" Quinn asked. Before Mercedes could reply, she continued. "Because I respect you."

"Huh?" Mercedes asked, clearly confused.

Quinn smirked slightly before explaining. "I was actually trying to look out for you, Kurt, Artie, and Tina. I didn't want to drag your reputations into it. I was just trying to make myself feel better. I didn't mean to hurt anybody."

Mercedes looked at her quizzically. She had suspected the reason Quinn made the GList was to make herself relevant again at McKinley, and now that she knew that her newest friend wasn't trying to dis her or her friends, that left her with one major question. "If you weren't trying to hurt anyone, then why did you give Rachel a -5?"

Quinn felt the familiar twisting in her gut when she thought of Rachel Berry and felt herself go tense. "Why do you even care? I know you don't like Rachel either."

"That's not true."

Quinn raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

"Look, I know Rachel can be overbearing and obnoxious, not to mention stealing the spotlight from me and Kurt, but since Sectionals she has been making an effort to be a better teammate."

"You still hardly get any solos," Quinn argued, trying to turn the conversation in another direction. She didn't want to think or talk about Rachel more than she already did, which was far too much for her liking.

"That's not Rachel's fault. It's Mr. Schue's. He's the one who refuses to be fair," Mercedes stated matter-of-factly. "But that's not the point. The point is why do you keep going out of your way to antagonize Rachel?"

"I don't," Quinn replied, starting to get a little defensive. Mercedes looked at her disbelievingly. "Okay, I will admit, I'm kind of a bitch to her, but she deserves it."

"Does she?"

"She tried to steal Finn from me even when she thought he was the father of my baby."

"But that's over now, Quinn. Besides, Rachel's not even with Finn. She's with Jesse."

Quinn grimaced. "Ugh, that hardly makes a difference. I can't stand them. The way he always has his arm around her when they walk down the halls together or when they sit next to each other in glee club. His stupid smug grin. It's disgusting how smitten she is with him."

As Quinn ranted, Mercedes raised an eyebrow at her, wondering why she was getting so worked up over glee club's power couple. Sure, she didn't really like Jesse either, but only because it meant even less solos for her. But that didn't really matter as much now that the Cheerios heavily featured her vocal prowess.

But before she could say anything about it, a horn honked, effectively ending Quinn's rant. Both girls looked over to see Puck waiting for Quinn.

"I have to go. See you tomorrow, Mercedes," Quinn said with a slight smile, her ire fading, before walking over to Puck's car.

"See ya, girl," Mercedes replied, the wheels in her head beginning to turn as she watched Quinn leave.

* * *

"I find Quinn's animosity toward Rachel to be fascinating," Kurt commented as he applied moisturizer to Mercedes' face. She had just filled him in on her earlier conversation with Quinn. "If she created the GList to rehabilitate her image, why did she place it on Rachel's locker where hardly anyone would see it, but where Rachel most definitely would? The only reason it ended up in the cafeteria is because Puck moved it."

"It is kind of strange," Mercedes agreed. "I mean, since Babygate broke, Quinn's been pretty cool with everyone in glee except Rachel."

"I've noticed. While I'm not exactly Rachel's number one fan, Quinn takes it above and beyond what anyone else does to her."

"You're right. She's always been meaner to Rachel than anyone else. You know, back when Quinn was still a Cheerio, she used to say things to us like we suck, but it was never really personal. Those names she used to call Rachel—'Man Hands,' 'RuPaul,' 'Treasure Trail'..."

"All defeminizing insults." He quirked his eyebrow in thought. "And those pictures she drew of Rachel are telling."

"What pictures?"

"You think I didn't notice those lewd drawings of one Miss Rachel Berry in the girls bathroom stalls?"

"That was Quinn?" Mercedes asked incredulously.

He nodded. "One day I saw Quinn working all during geography class on a drawing of our star. That was when I realized who the bathroom stall artist was. It was done in the same grotesque style, but the odd thing about it was that she surrounded that particular drawing with hearts."

"Oh, no way! Quinn was sitting right next to me in the choir room with that drawing. I remember wondering what was up with that, but I didn't want to get into it with her."

"So she was _still_ working on it after that? For someone who claims to hate Rachel, she sure spends an awful lot of time thinking about her."

Mercedes nodded in agreement. "She also seemed to get really bothered by Rachel asking us for advice on Jesse. Said something about it grossing out her baby. And the way she was going on today about Rachel and Jesse. I could understand it if it was Rachel and Finn, but she pays far too much attention to them."

"Hmm, someone seems a little jealous." Kurt's eyes lit up as he clapped his hands together. "Oh, Mercedes, I think Quinn might be harboring something more than animosity for Rachel. After all, there's a fine line between love and hate."

"I think you're right. The question is what are we going to do about it?"

"Leave it to me, honey," he replied with a smirk.

* * *

A week later, Kurt and Quinn were hanging out in Kurt's room waiting for Mercedes, who had run back home to grab her iPod, to return.

"So, I've noticed that Brittany and Santana are awfully close," Kurt commented, absently examining his nails.

"They're best friends," Quinn replied with shrug, idly flipping through a magazine.

"You know what I mean. They're closer than that."

"They are," she agreed. "Are you wondering if you're the only gay kid at McKinley?"

"Hmm, well, statistically speaking, I _know_ I'm not the only one. I'm just curious as to who they are exactly. And while I doubt Brittany and Santana would consider themselves gay, they definitely seem to enjoy each other's company. If I had to label them, I'd say they were bisexual."

"I suppose you could say that," Quinn replied with a slow nod.

"You've never seemed uncomfortable around them."

"They've never given me a reason to feel uncomfortable." Quinn put down the magazine and looked intently at Kurt then. She didn't know exactly what he was getting at. "I don't have a problem with you being gay, Kurt."

"I know. I never thought you did, actually. You don't have a problem with other people's sexuality—you don't judge them for it. To be honest, that came as a surprise to me."

Quinn opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, Kurt quickly continued forward.

"But while you don't have a problem with other people's sexuality, you certainly seem to have a problem with your own."

"Excuse me?" she replied sharply, somewhat taken aback by his forwardness and instinctively feeling a touch of nervousness over what he might be implying.

"President of the Celibacy Club?" he smirked.

Quinn let out a small breath of relief and relaxed slightly before answering evenly, "It was what I believed."

"Was?"

"I still do. What happened with Puck was a mistake. I regretted it before I even knew I was pregnant."

"Aside from that one mistake, is it hard? To control your urges, I mean."

Her eyes narrowed. "That is really none of your business." The truth was, it wasn't hard—at least not when it came to Finn and, later, Puck. The hard part was getting _them_ to control _their_ urges.

"You're right, I'm sorry," he said apologetically, but he wasn't sorry at all. "It's just that I haven't yet had the opportunity to be intimate with a boy, but if presented with said opportunity, it would be difficult to resist."

"That seems to be typical for guys."

"Maybe. But then I wonder about girls like Brittany and Santana. They seem to be fairly… promiscuous. They were in the Celibacy Club too, weren't they?"

Quinn snorted. "All the Cheerios were. But I think I was the only one who took it seriously."

"Didn't Rachel join the club at one point?" Kurt asked with faux innocence, just waiting to see what Quinn's reaction would be.

Again, those hazel eyes narrowed. "I'm sure it was just so she could get closer to Finn. She's infuriating. She had the audacity to challenge the club, talking about how girls want sex just as much as guys do. And then when she actually got a boyfriend in Puck, she wouldn't even let him get to second base."

"It's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing," Kurt suggested mockingly.

Quinn paused in her tirade and looked at him with surprised eyes.

He laughed. "Oh, I knew all about your power motto. I am curious though. How do you know so much about Rachel Berry's love life?"

"Puck told me," she said quickly, her face flushing slightly. The truth was, out of some masochistic urge, she had asked him. She had been nearly sick with jealousy, but she didn't know why. She wasn't jealous when Puck hooked up with anyone besides Rachel. The same with Finn—she couldn't have cared less if he had cheated on her, unless it was with Rachel. She had even told him that.

"I take back what I said about you not judging other people's sexuality," Kurt said, pulling Quinn from her thoughts. "You certainly judge Rachel's."

"I-" she was about to deny it, but she was hit with the realization that it was actually true. It sounded ridiculous when he said it out loud because it was ridiculous. She knew she shouldn't care, but she couldn't help noticing everything about Rachel. And it was infuriating, because deep down, Quinn was afraid of what it could mean.

Sensing Quinn's internal struggle, Kurt dropped the snark and softened. "I don't know what's going on in that pretty head of yours, Quinn, but I have a good guess. And I know what it's like to be afraid to admit to yourself who you are, let alone to the rest of the world."

She stared at him warily for a moment, the implications of his words fully sinking in. "There's nothing to admit," she replied evenly, but she felt nervous.

Kurt nodded slowly, seeming to accept her response. He sensed that they were at a bit of a crossroads. If he pushed too hard, Quinn might spiral further into denial—that is, if his suspicions were correct, which he was 99% positive they were. So he decided to ease up a bit and turn the focus back onto himself. Had this been just one month ago, Kurt wouldn't dare admit what he was about to admit to Quinn Fabray. It would have been far too dangerous.

"You know, I sometimes still struggle with who I am. I really love my dad, and I know it's sometimes hard for him to have a son like me. It hurt when I saw how easily he and Finn get along, and I want that kind of closeness with my dad. So for awhile I tried to be someone I'm not. I tried to be who I thought my dad wanted me to be, but that didn't work out so well." He gave Quinn a self-deprecating smile, and she couldn't help but return it, her edginess fading slightly—but she suspected he wasn't telling her this just to get it off his chest. "But my dad told me that my job is to just be myself, whoever that is, and he'll love me no matter what. I know that I'm lucky to have a father who is so accepting of me." His blue eyes were filled with sympathy as he looked at Quinn. "I can't imagine what it's like to not have that."

His words struck a nerve in Quinn, and she couldn't stop the wave of pain that came from remembering her own father's rejection. She looked away from Kurt and closed her eyes, willing the tears that threatened to fall from doing so. But it was no use, and soon the tears were rolling down her cheeks.

"I tried," Quinn whispered through her tears. "I tried so hard to be exactly who he wanted me to be. I knew I couldn't be anything less than that or else…" She sniffed and shook her head slowly. "One mistake. I made one mistake, and he threw me out the door." She let out a shaky breath as she felt Kurt wrap his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug.

"Shh, it's okay, Quinn. There's no reason to be afraid of being who you truly are. Mercedes and I, we've got your back." He pulled back to look her in the eye. "We won't judge you."

A fresh wave of tears hit her as she pulled Kurt back into a hug and cried into his shoulder. She knew she couldn't blame it entirely on the pregnancy hormones. She was just a jumbled mess of emotions—bitterness at her own family's conditional love, gratitude for the new friends in her life, and confusion over who she was without living up to the expectations of her father.

Finally, after several minutes, Quinn's tears subsided and she pulled back, offering Kurt a shaky smile. "Thank you, Kurt."

He returned the smile. "So, are you ready to tell me what's going on inside your head?"

"I'm not sure," she replied. "I mean, I know that I can talk to you and Mercedes, but I'm not sure I understand what's going on inside my head."

"Well, maybe we can start by me just asking you some questions and see where it leads us," he suggested, trying to put her at ease. "No pressure."

She thought it over for a minute before agreeing with a quiet, "Okay." She told herself that if she didn't want to answer, she wouldn't.

He tapped his chin in thought for a moment before deciding on what he would ask. "When you were dating Puck, did it bother you at all that he was still sleeping with Santana?"

Quinn looked at Kurt quizzically for a moment, not expecting that question at all, but decided that she had no problem telling him the truth. "Honestly, no."

"Hmm," his curiosity piqued. "What about when Finn slept with her?"

"That didn't really bother me either," she shrugged.

"Then why do you get so worked up when either of those boys just kiss Rachel?" he asked smugly.

Quinn immediately felt the familiar burn of jealousy at the mentions of Puck and Finn kissing Rachel, and it showed on her face clear as day in the form of a scowl.

"It's obvious you're jealous," Kurt continued knowingly. "But not of the girls that are with the boys you've been with. It seems to me that you're jealous of the boys who Rachel has shown interest in. Especially our newest addition to New Directions."

She didn't want what he was saying to be true, but it was. And she hated it. She hated how Rachel made her feel—out of control and actually craving to be closer to the girl. She knew her parents would never accept her again if she gave into those feelings. But she was tired—so tired of constantly fighting herself and taking it out on the object of her affection.

"You're right," Quinn admitted after a few moments of silence. "I wish you weren't, but you are. I hate that I feel this way."

"Why?"

"Because I feel so out of control when I'm around her. I don't even understand what I'm feeling."

"You thrive on control, Quinn. But you can't control everything, especially who you are attracted to. Lord knows I know all about that," he said with a smile and a roll of his eyes. It helped add a bit of levity to the situation.

She smiled a bit, feeling a little easier about things despite the uncertainty over what to do with these feelings she was finally admitting to having for another girl. No, not just another girl. For Rachel. A girl she tortured for most of their high school career because she couldn't deal with her feelings. The smile fell from her face as a wave of guilt washed over her. _God, how am I going to fix this?_

Kurt watched the various emotions play out on Quinn's face. "You okay, sweetie?"

She shook her head, attempting to clear her mind. It didn't really work. "I'm kind of overwhelmed, actually," she said, turning to face him. "I have a lot to think about." She sighed and slowly got up to stand. Kurt followed suit.

"Leaving already?"

Quinn nodded and smiled ruefully. "I kind of want to be alone with my thoughts right now if that makes sense."

He nodded in understanding.

"Tell Mercedes I said goodbye. And, well, thank you for helping me today." She pulled him into a hug.

"Anytime. Remember, we've got your back."

As soon as Quinn was gone, Kurt sent a text to Mercedes: _Mission accomplished._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, "Funk" was supposed to air before "Theatricality," but then Fox switched the episode order for May Sweeps. I'm going with what was originally intended, so keep in mind that the events of "Funk" happen before those in "Theatricality" in this fic.

Since admitting to herself what it was she truly felt for Rachel the previous week, Quinn was at a loss for how to proceed. She didn't know what she wanted from the other girl exactly, only that she wanted to be closer to her. Unfortunately, it seemed like Rachel didn't even notice her these days unless it had to do with arrangements or choreography for glee. She was too wrapped up in her boyfriend, Jesse St. James.

So it was with a sense of frustration Quinn found herself staring at Rachel across the cafeteria, where she was sitting with Jesse. He had just returned from San Diego and had apparently patched things up with Rachel if the arm draped around her shoulder was any indication.

"Man, you've got it bad," Mercedes teased, pulling Quinn out of her reverie.

Quinn frowned and looked away from the pair and at her friend. "Ugh, what am I supposed to do?" she asked. "Rachel's with that drama queen."

"Have you tried just being her friend?"

"I don't know how to be her friend."

"It's not hard, Quinn. You did it just fine with me."

"Yeah, but I wasn't harboring more than platonic feelings for you."

"Just give it a try. You have to start somewhere."

"I don't know."

"Come on. What happened to the Quinn Fabray who made everyone in this school fall at her feet?"

"She got knocked up and knocked down."

"Even so, you still have it in you to make heads turn. Be confident and go after what and, more importantly, who you want."

Quinn smiled slightly at Mercedes' encouragement and tried to channel her old confidence. "Okay," she said with a nod, hoping she looked more convincing than she felt.

* * *

When Quinn walked into the choir room later that afternoon for glee practice, most of the club was already there awaiting Bryan Ryan's decision on whether or not to cut the club. Her eyes immediately fell on Rachel, who was sitting in the front row and turned to her right talking to Tina. Quinn's mouth went dry as she took in the sight of Rachel's legs in one of her characteristically too-short skirts.

Shaking her head, Quinn looked behind Rachel to see Kurt and Mercedes sitting together. As she walked closer to them, she saw Kurt looking pointedly at the empty spot in front of Mercedes and next to Rachel. There wasn't a chair there, but it didn't seem to matter.

Glancing around quickly, Quinn noticed that Jesse wasn't there. She realized this was her chance.

Taking a deep breath, she moved across the room and settled down on the riser next to Rachel. It wasn't the first time she had ever sat beside Rachel in glee, but it was the first time she was about to make the effort to begin a civil conversation with her. Normally, it had been Rachel who would be doing that—well, at least when Rachel had seemed interested in being her friend. Since Jesse came around, that had changed. Quinn hoped she wasn't too late.

"Hi, Rachel," she offered when Rachel cast a curious glance her way, trying to ease her own nerves. She couldn't see it, but she knew Kurt and Mercedes were smirking behind her and that somehow calmed her a bit.

"Hello, Quinn," Rachel replied. Her response was friendly, but Quinn noticed it lacked the usual warmth she gave other people. Rachel was understandably guarded.

Quinn sighed internally before steeling herself for what she was about to say. She had decided to just get right to the point. "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow after practice."

Rachel's eyes widened in surprise, completely caught off-guard and clearly not expecting Quinn to ask her to hang out. Ever. "While I appreciate the offer, I must decline. Jesse is coming over tomorrow."

"Where is your boyfriend anyway?" she asked, unable to keep the distaste out of her voice completely.

Rachel looked at her oddly. "Family emergency," she replied evenly.

"I see."

Before Quinn could say anything else, Mr. Schuester came into class with Mr. Ryan, who proceeded to tell them that he wasn't cutting glee club. There was a lot of excitement then—a lot of people jumping out of their seats and grabbing the goodies Mr. Ryan had brought for them—but Quinn wasn't really processing any of it. She was too busy looking out of the corner of her eye at the girl next to her, who stayed rooted in her seat with her attention focused at the front of the room.

She was no stranger to watching Rachel, but it took on a whole new meaning now that she understood the nature of her feelings. It was terrifying but somehow exciting at the same time. Quinn took in Rachel's expressive brown eyes, the way her brow furrowed in thought, the smooth skin of her throat, and silky brown hair. It almost didn't matter that Rachel had zero fashion sense. She was beautiful.

And apparently completely oblivious to Quinn's appreciative gaze.

There was a sudden flurry of movement then, forcing Quinn to look away from Rachel as the form of Mr. Ryan coming toward them filled her vision. She followed his movement and flinched as he ripped a jacket out of Kurt's hands.

As he moved back to the front of the room, Quinn's eyes briefly met Santana's. She was sitting beside Kurt and had noticed Quinn's attempt at conversation with and not so subtle looks towards Rachel. Santana looked at her with an expression that clearly begged the question, _What the hell?_

Quinn merely shrugged and looked back at Rachel, who was glaring daggers at Coach Sylvester and Mr. Ryan as they left the choir room. Seconds later, she was out of her seat and talking animatedly with Mr. Schuester about how they were going to get Mr. Ryan to change his mind.

Quinn sighed, frustrated.

"Don't give up just yet, Q," Mercedes murmured as she leaned down, patting Quinn on the shoulder reassuringly.

* * *

"So what's up with you and Manhands?" Santana asked, a look of disgust on her face as she walked up to Quinn's locker.

"Don't call her that," Quinn replied sharply, closing her locker door and turning to walk down the hallway and away from her friend. She really didn't feel like explaining herself right now.

Santana rolled her eyes and followed after Quinn. "You're the one who came up with that name, you know."

"I was wrong to call her that."

Santana quirked an eyebrow before pausing in her steps. "Oh my God, Q. Don't tell me you actually like her now!"

"So what if I do?" Quinn asked defensively as she turned to face Santana.

Santana stared at Quinn for a moment, before it dawned on her just how much Quinn liked Rachel. She laughed in disbelief. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me! Really, Q?"

"Shut up, Santana," she growled before once again moving through the halls, leaving a laughing Santana behind her.

* * *

"I can't seem to get her alone to ask her to hang out," Quinn said, letting out a frustrated sigh. "They're attached at the hip. God, I hate him."

Kurt smirked as he looked across his bedroom at Quinn sitting on his chaise. "You really need to work on your jealousy issues," he teased.

"Whatever," she grumbled, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. "I screwed up. She offered me her friendship months ago, but like an idiot I refused."

"You weren't ready then, Quinn," Mercedes said. "Stop beating yourself up over that. Just be friends with her now. Yes, she's with Jesse and spends most of her time with him, but she still wants to be friends with everyone in glee, including you."

"But I've been so horrible to her. What if she doesn't forgive me?"

"She will," Kurt replied.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Remember when you asked me to give Rachel a makeover?"

Quinn nodded.

"Well, I purposefully made her over into the exact opposite girl that Finn would like. I tried to sabotage her chances with him because I thought it might help mine. I admit it was selfish of me, but I didn't really care for Rachel at the time.

"She called me out on it, and we exchanged some nasty words. But at the end of the day, I knew she didn't begrudge me, and we sort of had this weird connection over our unrequited attraction to Finn. She forgave me before I was even sorry about it. And that's when I realized that even though the girl drives me up the wall most of the time, she's not a bad person. Eventually, I learned to respect more than her talent.

"So you see, she's probably already forgiven you, even though you haven't asked her for it."

Quinn hoped he was right.

* * *

The next few days were rough for Quinn. The judgmental stares from Puck's mother were becoming too much, and she was feeling horrible about herself. The only bright spot during that time was glee club and watching Rachel perform. She purposefully avoided looking at Jesse, which was difficult considering how much he was always around Rachel.

She was also aware of Santana's amused and disgusted looks shot in her direction, but she tried to let it roll off of her. That was just how her friend was. Quinn was used to it by now, but that didn't stop her from being slightly annoyed by it.

Still, she wasn't exactly in the best state of mind to attempt to talk to Rachel again. She was just feeling so angry, but she didn't know what to do about it. She was afraid that she'd fall back on old habits and say something she'd regret to Rachel, so she chose to just continue to watch from afar. Things were complicated enough as it was.

However, it turned out that Rachel was the one to approach her first, albeit in a state of near panic.

"You guys have to come into the auditorium now!" Rachel shouted at Quinn, Puck, and Matt in the hallway after school before running off to find the rest of the glee club.

"What was that all about?" Puck asked.

"Guess we better go find out," Quinn replied turning to head toward the auditorium, hoping that Rachel was just being her overly dramatic self and that there wasn't something bigger happening.

* * *

Unfortunately, something bigger had happened.

Rachel was understandably distraught after watching Jesse defect back to Vocal Adrenaline. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had embarrassed her in front of not only their competition but all of New Directions.

"You were right, Mercedes. Jesse was just playing me," she said sadly as Mercedes wrapped a comforting arm around her while the club walked together to the choir room.

Quinn watched Rachel and Mercedes walking slightly ahead of her, wishing she could be the one comforting her. She barely paid attention to Finn and Puck talking about how their football team would use similar tactics to intimidate opponents—she was too focused on Rachel at the moment to really listen to them.

She was torn in what to feel. She was a little jealous of Mercedes at that moment, upset at Vocal Adrenaline for what they just pulled in _their_ auditorium, yet also a bit hopeful about her chances with Rachel now that Jesse was clearly out of the picture.

* * *

Quinn was beyond frustrated.

After a blow up with Mercedes during glee club, things between them were tense. Living at Puck's house was becoming increasingly stressful—both dealing with Puck's mother and his idiocy. Then there was the whole liking Rachel thing but not being able to do anything about it. Something or someone always seemed to prevent her from speaking to Rachel.

All of these things were pushing Quinn to a breaking point. She was so angry all the time, and she didn't know the first thing about how to get it out.

So she decided to sing "It's a Man's Man's Man's World" for her glee club assignment, hoping it would provide some much needed catharsis.

She didn't care that it made some of the members of the club uncomfortable or that it only seemed to make things more strained between her and Mercedes. She was too angry. Singing hadn't been as cathartic as she'd hoped. After all, she was still in the same situation as before—pregnant, in an unstable living condition, at the bottom of the high school social totem pole, and dealing with feelings of seemingly unrequited attraction toward a girl nearly everyone thought she hated.

These feelings were only growing stronger by the day. Perhaps worse than Mercedes refusal to stand with her when the rest of the club did was the fact that Rachel wasn't there to see her performance at all. She felt irrationally disappointed by it, and it only served to fuel her frustration more.

* * *

Quinn stood alone inside one of the bathroom stalls with a black sharpie, furiously scribbling out the drawings she had once made of Rachel. She figured it was the least she could do to make up for her past wrongs, and it served as a distraction from the things that were currently upsetting her.

As she looked at the rather detailed pictures, she couldn't help but wonder how she had been so far in denial. _"Seriously repressed,"_ Kurt had once told her with a smirk. Quinn shook her head with a rueful smile at the memory.

Her eyes fell on one particular drawing where she had depicted Rachel bent over. Quinn felt herself grow warm when she thought of Rachel actually being in that very position. Her face flushed with both arousal and embarrassment, and she realized that Kurt was right, she wasn't comfortable with her own sexuality, even now.

A door opening and closing interrupted her thoughts, and Quinn tried to get her mind under control and paused in her scribbling so as not to give herself away. She wanted to be left alone right now.

She heard the faucet of the sink running—someone washing their hands, she realized. Seconds later, the door opened and closed again.

"Hey, Rachel," she heard Tina say, and her ears perked up, desperate to hear the girls' conversation. "Where were you yesterday? You missed Quinn's performance in glee. It was a little weird, but she sounded amazing."

"I wasn't feeling well, so I decided to go home," came Rachel's reply. "What was weird about Quinn's performance?" she asked curiously.

"She had all these pregnant women do the choreography behind her. Although, I'm not even sure they were really pregnant. They all looked like they were going to pop. There's no way they could have moved like that."

Quinn rolled her eyes, but anxiously awaited to hear what Rachel thought of it.

"She was probably just trying to make a statement," Rachel replied matter-of-factly. "She's gone through a lot the last seven months. She undoubtedly has a lot that she needs to get off her chest."

"True," Tina agreed. "Oh crap, we're going to be late for English. We should go."

Quinn listened as the two girls exited the bathroom, feeling a strange mix of disappointment and elation. She was disappointed that Rachel had left, once again foiling Quinn's attempts to talk privately with her, but that was outweighed by happiness over the fact that even though Rachel wasn't there for her performance, she understood Quinn.

For all of Rachel's apparent self-absorbedness, she realized that Rachel had always understood her.

* * *

Once again, Quinn's life was uprooted, but this time, for the better. She and Mercedes had patched things up, and Quinn felt that their friendship was stronger than before their fight. The Joneses had graciously offered Quinn a room in their house, and she had always found herself feeling more comfortable and welcome there than she ever did at Puck's. Despite her pregnancy, they didn't judge or pity her. Rather, they supported her. In fact, Mrs. Jones was the one to take her to her latest doctor's appointment.

The nice thing about having an afternoon appointment was getting out of school early. The bad thing about it was having to miss glee, but fortunately they were having practice every day after school in order to prepare for Regionals.

After arriving back at the Jones' place, Quinn made her way to Mercedes' room where she found her laying on her bed and watching TV. "Hey."

"Oh hey, girl," Mercedes replied as she hit the mute button on the remote. "How'd your appointment go?"

"Good. Everything with the baby is going the way it should be. So that's one less thing to stress out about," Quinn replied as she took a seat on one of the chairs in the room. "Did I miss anything exciting after I left school today?"

Mercedes frowned. "Actually, you missed a lot."

"What happened?" Quinn asked apprehensively.

"Jesse called Rachel and had her meet him in the parking lot between periods. Vocal Adrenaline was there waiting for her. They egged her."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah," Mercedes said sadly. "And the worst part was, Jesse walked right up to her and cracked an egg on her face."

Quinn's eyes narrowed as anger flooded her. "I'll kill him," she fumed.

Mercedes chuckled at Quinn's reaction. "The guys wanted to go all Braveheart on them too, but Mr. Schue put a stop to it."

"Too bad," Quinn grumbled. She knew why Mr. Schuester couldn't allow them to do something like that, especially after Puck and Finn slashed the tires of Vocal Adrenaline's Range Rovers, but still. Something had to be done.

"Anyway, Mr. Schue called Jesse. We're having a throwdown next Friday with Vocal Adrenaline. We're performing 'Give Up the Funk' by Parliament."

"And what exactly is that supposed to accomplish?"

"Vocal Adrenaline is a machine, remember? They have no soul. Mr. Schue thinks it will intimidate them before Regionals."

"Seriously?" Quinn asked in angry disbelief. "That's got to be the lamest thing I've ever heard. They _egged_ Rachel. They should pay for that."

"Rachel said the best revenge we could get on them will be beating them at Regionals. And she's right."

"I guess," Quinn muttered, realizing that their captain was right, but she still wasn't pleased with what had happened.

Mercedes smiled at Quinn. "There is one good thing that came out of this mess though."

"What's that?"

"Rachel seems to have finally snapped out of her funk. She's got her fire back, which means she's starting to move on from Jesse. Now's the time to make your move, Quinn."

* * *

Quinn spotted Rachel sitting alone at a table in the library and slowly walked over to her, stopping in front of the chair across from where she was sitting. Rachel noticed Quinn standing there and looked up.

"Hey, can I sit here?" Quinn asked, offering her a small smile.

Rachel smiled back hesitantly and nodded, and Quinn let out a small breath of relief as she sat down.

There was a beat of silence as Quinn and Rachel just looked at one another, as if feeling each other out, before Quinn finally spoke. "I heard about what happened with Vocal Adrenaline. With Jesse." Quinn's eyes were filled with a mixture of sympathy and anger, and Rachel found it odd having Quinn look at her that way. "I'm sorry. I should have been there."

Rachel's brow furrowed in confusion. "Why do you even care? I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you, Rachel. I never hated you." Quinn's voice was soft. Probably the softest she had ever spoken to her. Rachel only continued to look at her incredulously, but there was something akin to hope in her brown eyes. Quinn tried to explain herself better. "I thought I did, but I was being stupid." She paused, realizing it probably wasn't a good idea to explain how much she actually _didn't_ hate her, especially since she still wasn't sure exactly what she wanted from Rachel. It was best to keep it simple for now. "I'd like to be friends, if you'll let me."

Rachel offered her a surprised but genuine smile at her words. "I'd like that."

Quinn felt relief and happiness at Rachel's easy acceptance, and she easily matched Rachel's smile with one of her own.

It was a start, and Quinn was both nervous and excited to see what it might lead to.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, keep in mind that "Funk" was originally supposed to air before "Theatricality," but then Fox switched the episode order for May Sweeps. I'm going with what was originally intended, so the events of "Funk" happen before those in "Theatricality" in this fic.

Quinn followed Rachel and Mercedes through the hallways of Carmel High School and up to the balcony of the auditorium.

This wasn't exactly how Quinn envisioned their first time hanging out. She was a little nervous about spending time with Rachel outside of school, especially since they were doing something she was afraid might be bordering on illegal. But when Rachel had asked her and Mercedes to accompany her to spy on Vocal Adrenaline, she couldn't say no.

"Do you think they can see us?" Mercedes asked quietly, moving along the edges of the balcony and closer to the stage, where Vocal Adrenaline was in the midst of rehearsal, in an attempt to get a better look at what they were doing.

"If they catch us, are we going to have to go to jail?" Quinn asked, keeping her voice a low whisper. It had been one thing to do stuff like this as a Cheerio within the confines of McKinley, where she had ruled the place and could get away with just about anything. It was another doing it here at Carmel.

"Stealing their ideas is not a crime!" Rachel whispered hotly as she moved past Quinn, brushing her hand against Quinn's in the process, causing her skin to tingle where they had touched and a pleasant warmth to settle in her stomach. Quinn almost couldn't believe how strong a reaction she had to such simple contact.

The three girls took a seat in the front row of the balcony, with Rachel sitting in the middle and Quinn to her right. Unconsciously, Quinn leaned toward the Rachel.

"They look amazing," Rachel said, staring down at Vocal Adrenaline decked out in their red Lady Gaga outfits as Ms. Corcoran, their director, counted out the steps for the choreography.

Quinn clenched her jaw in anger at the sight of them. Sure, they had shown Vocal Adrenaline their funky side last Friday, but she still felt that there hadn't been proper retribution for the egging incident. She tried to remind herself of Rachel's and Mr. Schue's directive—beat them at Regionals.

"Okay, okay, okay," came the sound of Ms. Corcoran's frustrated voice. "Just—enough. You guys aren't getting it. You're letting the costumes do all the work. Theatricality isn't about crazy outfits. It's not enough to douse yourselves with gasoline. You have to light yourselves on fire to make it work.

"God, she's good," Rachel commented in awe.

"Being theatrical doesn't mean you have to be a nuclear explosion. It can be like—like a quiet storm. You just have to radiate emotion. Express what's deep inside you. That's what theatricality is truly about."

The choir simply stared at her. Well, at least Quinn assumed that's what they were doing since she couldn't see their faces behind their costumes. She guessed since they were basically automatons, they didn't quite understand the concept of "radiating emotion."

"Do I have to demonstrate?" Ms. Corcoran asked them before turning to their band. "'Funny Girl.' E-flat."

"Exactly what I would have done," Rachel said, turning to look at Quinn as she spoke—her eyes and voice filled with passion. Quinn met her gaze before thinking better of it and looking back toward the stage where Ms. Corcoran now stood alone as the music began to play.

It took every ounce of Quinn's strength not to meet Rachel's gaze again, afraid that she might lose herself or give herself away. She still wasn't sure if Rachel would even like her in more than a friendly way, and if by some chance she did, what she would do about it.

"Barbra," Rachel said with a half roll of her eyes, pulling Quinn back to the present situation at hand. "I could do it in my sleep."

 _If Sectionals were any indication, she most definitely could,_ Quinn thought with a smile as she focused her attention to what was happening on the stage.

Ms. Corcoran's voice filled the auditorium. There was raw emotion there, but subtly so—a perfect example of what she had been trying to teach her students about theatricality.

Rachel's breath caught in her throat as Ms. Corcoran continued to sing—realization dawned on her. Her mouth hung open as she struggled to breathe normally. There was no doubt in Rachel's mind as to who this woman was. It was overwhelming to say the least. Without even consciously thinking it, Rachel suddenly stood up and began to walk away from her friends.

"Hey, where are you going? Mercedes asked, noticing Rachel leaving them.

"Get back here," Quinn called after Rachel, her face scrunched up in confusion at her sudden departure.

But Rachel didn't even seem to hear them. Her focus was locked on the woman singing onstage. Quinn and Mercedes could only stare after Rachel as she moved toward the set of stairs leading to the lower level of the auditorium. Moments later, they saw her below them, approaching the stage.

"What is she doing?" Quinn asked Mercedes, panicking a bit. She really didn't want to get caught, especially since she wasn't as spry as when she was a Cheerio. She couldn't exactly make a quick escape.

"I have no idea," Mercedes murmured in response, seriously confused by this turn of events.

"Ms. Corcoran," Rachel said as the song came to a close, causing the woman to look in her direction. "I'm Rachel Berry. I'm your daughter."

"Oh my lord," Mercedes breathed as Quinn stared in shock at the scene before her.

They couldn't make out Ms. Corcoran's expression from where they sat, but they saw her briefly turn her attention to the front of the orchestra pit where her choir was sitting. There was a sudden tension in the bodies of nearly every member of Vocal Adrenaline.

"You're dismissed," she announced, and the students quickly let themselves out.

"We should go too," Mercedes said.

"But-"

"Rachel has her own ride, remember? She'll probably be here for awhile. Besides, we should give them some privacy."

"Yeah," Quinn said with a reluctant nod. She slowly got up from her seat and followed Mercedes out of the auditorium, but not before casting a glance back toward Rachel. To her surprise, Rachel was watching their exit. She gave Quinn a grateful smile, and Quinn couldn't help but smile back.

* * *

"That was something else, huh?" Mercedes said as they walked through the parking lot back to her car. "Who would have thought that Ms. Corcoran is Rachel's mom. Although, I can definitely see the resemblance. Oh man, just wait until the glee club hears about this."

"Seriously wild. I mean, obviously we all knew about her dads. I sort of forgot that she would have to have a mom, but of course she would," Quinn said with a small smile and shake of her head before her smile fell. "Wait, you don't think she'll join Vocal Adrenaline now, do you?"

"No way. Not after what they did to her."

Just then, Quinn spotted Jesse St. James across the parking lot and saw red. Without thinking, she began to walk as quickly as her pregnant body would allow her over to where he was getting into his car.

"Quinn, what are you doing?" Mercedes asked before noticing who she was heading toward. "Hey, wait up!" she called out, chasing after Quinn.

The sound of Mercedes' voice grabbed Jesse's attention, and he turned to see his former teammates coming toward him. Quinn looked furious, and if she hadn't been pregnant, Jesse might have been just a little afraid of her in that moment.

"St. James," Quinn practically hissed when they reached him, her jaw clenched and eyes narrowed.

"Quinn," he replied with a smirk. "Mercedes."

Mercedes rolled her eyes at him and placed her hands on her hips.

Suddenly, it clicked. Quinn realized just how Rachel knew who her mother was. "You knew, didn't you?" she accused, advancing on Jesse and poking him in the chest. "You knew that Ms. Corcoran is Rachel's mom, and you still did this to her."

The smirk dropped from his face then, and he appeared to show genuine remorse. "Not that it's any of your business, but I do care about Rachel."

"She's our friend, so it is our business," Mercedes retorted. "And you have an odd way of showing you care."

"I had my reasons," he replied.

"Let me guess," Quinn said. "You had to prove to your teammates that you were 'one of them.'" The look in Jesse's eyes told her that she was right. Well, Rachel certainly had a type—guys who succumb to peer pressure. "Pathetic."

"Like you're any better," Jesse shot back, looking pointedly at Quinn's baby bump before bringing his gaze back up to meet furious hazel.

"Watch it," Mercedes warned him.

"If you have something to say, St. James, say it," Quinn growled.

"As Rachel once put it so succinctly, you're a teenage trollop, Quinn—something she desperately hoped her mother was not. Good thing Ms. Corcoran is a woman with an impeccable reputation, unlike you who is nothing but damaged goods."

Quinn couldn't stop the hurt that came from knowing that Rachel thought she was that kind of girl, but she supposed she deserved it. It paled in comparison to the things she had said to and about Rachel. Still, now wasn't the time to wallow in guilt. She pushed down the hurt and felt her fury rise up.

Mercedes looked like she was ready to pounce on Jesse, but she paused when Quinn took another step toward him, getting right in his face. "You have no right to judge me," she spat. "And my pregnancy has nothing to do with the fact that you egged our captain." She took a step back, gaining some control over her emotions and feeling every inch the HBIC once more. Her eyes held a calculated, dangerous glint as she spoke. "I wonder… just what would Ms. Corcoran do if she knew that you seduced her daughter only to break her heart and lead an assault on her?"

For the first time since this confrontation began, genuine fear shown in Jesse's eyes. This was obviously not something he wanted Ms. Corcoran to know about, but he didn't understand why Quinn of all people was up in arms about it. "Why do you care?" he managed to ask. "I thought you hated Rachel."

"I don't owe you any sort of explanation," Quinn replied, crossing her arms. "Rachel's no longer your concern. So stay away from her and the rest of our team, or else I'll make sure your coach finds out about what happened to her daughter."

Jesse narrowed his eyes at her. "Fine," he agreed bitterly. "Will that be all?"

She pierced him with a glare and nodded curtly.

Without another word, Jesse climbed into his car and drove off, while Quinn continued to glare after his retreating vehicle.

* * *

After the little monsters of glee club finished their performance of "Bad Romance," Quinn felt elated. She hadn't had that much fun during a glee performance since the club's impromptu dance session during "Ice Ice Baby." But she was paying for it now. Moving around like that took a lot more out of her than it did two months ago.

She took a seat on one of the stools in the stage wings as Mr. Schuester enthusiastically complimented them on their performance. Quinn smiled tiredly, taking in the happy smiles of her friends. Her smile fell though when her eyes landed on Rachel, who was picking absently at her stuffed animal outfit. It would have been cute if Rachel hadn't looked so miserable. Not for the first time, Quinn wondered just what had happened after she and Mercedes left last night.

"You okay, girl?" Mercedes asked Quinn, noticing that she had walked away from the group.

"I'm fine. I just need to take a breather."

Mercedes nodded, following Quinn's gaze for a moment, before rolling her eyes. "Hey, Rachel, come here for a second," she called out, a playful look on her face.

Quinn looked at her questioningly, but Mercedes just winked at Quinn as Rachel approached. "Keep Quinn company while I get her things from the choir room. I'll meet you guys at my car, okay?"

"Thanks, Mercedes," Quinn replied, grateful for her help both in getting her stuff and getting Rachel to come talk to her.

For her part, Rachel was still getting used to this whole Quinn wanting to be her friend thing. She had to admit, she was surprised that Quinn even approached her in the first place, but she was glad for it.

"Hey," Quinn said, trying to keep things light. She figured Rachel probably didn't want to talk about what happened with Ms. Corcoran if what she had said in the choir room earlier was any indication.

"Hey," Rachel replied as she looked at Quinn—really looked at her—for the first time that day. "I like the outfit you chose, Quinn. I feel that it suits your personality, and honestly, you pull it off better than Lady Gaga herself."

"Thanks," she replied with a slight blush at Rachel's compliment. "It sort of makes me feel like myself again. You know, since it hides the baby bump and all."

Rachel nodded in understanding as Quinn shifted in her seat, causing the stage lights to reflect off the sticker on the right side of her chest. Rachel noticed it and her eyes lit up. "I especially like how you've chosen to accent your ensemble with a gold star," she said, smiling for the first time that day, even though it lacked its usual brightness. "Gold stars are kind of my thing."

"I know," Quinn replied, quirking her lips into a knowing smile. She had hoped Rachel would notice it since she had put it there for her.

Rachel eyed her curiously. It was strange enough to have Quinn act friendly towards her, but now she wondered if there was something more to it. She realized then that Quinn was staring intently at her costume. "What are you looking at?"

Quinn smirked and raised an eyebrow playfully. "Just trying to figure out what all those things attached to you are," she teased.

"I know my outfit is horrible," Rachel huffed, crossing her arms. "You don't have to rub it in."

"I wasn't," Quinn tried to reassure her. "Gaga's Kermit the Frog look wasn't my favorite, to be honest. I actually think what you did is an improvement." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself. _Wow, way to fail at giving a compliment, Fabray,_ she thought with a mental grimace.

Rachel frowned.

"Okay, that came out wrong. That was supposed to be a compliment," Quinn explained, and Rachel could only quirk a confused eyebrow at her. "I'm just going to shut up before I do more damage." Quinn smiled ruefully as she slowly stood up, finally feeling like she had enough energy to meet Mercedes at her car. "Walk with me?" she asked Rachel.

"Sure," Rachel replied, glad for the company.

As they walked, Quinn glanced over at Rachel, noticing the stuffed animal fixed to the top of her head. "You know what the best part of your outfit is?"

Rachel looked back at her, fully anticipating Quinn to make fun of it despite her earlier assurances to the contrary. "What?" she asked, somewhat exasperated, which made Quinn chuckle.

"The lamb on top of your head," Quinn replied with a smile, pausing in her steps as they reached Mercedes' car.

Rachel turned to look at her, confused. "Why?"

"It reminds me of the stuffed lamb my grandpa gave me when I was little," she explained. "I know it's kind of stupid, but I really wish I had been able to take it with me when I got kicked out of my house."

"It's not stupid," Rachel argued, her brown eyes filled with sympathy. Quinn watched as she reached up and removed the lamb from the top of her head. Without hesitating, she offered it to Quinn. "I know it's not the same, but I'd like you to have it."

Quinn's eyes filled with tears and she bit her lip to keep from crying as she took the gift that Rachel had given her and hugged it to her chest. It was one of the sweetest gestures anyone had ever done for her.

"Thank you," she whispered, wishing she could draw Rachel into a hug, but knowing that their outfits made it pretty much impossible. So instead she settled for grabbing onto Rachel's hand and squeezing it lightly.

Rachel smiled shyly at her as she squeezed back. "You're welcome."

* * *

"Sorry, I'm late," Rachel said, sauntering into the auditorium rocking Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" look and causing the rest of the club to notice her entrance.

"Wow," Quinn said under breath as she looked at her appreciatively.

"Whoa, looking good, Rachel!" Mercedes exclaimed.

"Thanks!" she replied, walking past Mr. Schuester, Santana, Kurt, and Tina and coming to stand in front of Quinn. She twirled around a little, showing the outfit off.

Quinn couldn't help but smirk at that, knowing full well where Rachel had picked that trick up—the Cheerios.

"My mom made it," Rachel added, pulling her shades down to look pointedly at Mr. Schuester before coming to stand alongside Quinn. Rachel looked up at Quinn and offered her a megawatt smile, which gave her a slight thrill as she returned it.

"Well, we're all here," Mr. Schue stated. "So without further ado, I'd like to introduce the boys!" he announced, gesturing toward the stage where the boys were decked out in full KISS makeup.

"Lima, Ohio!" came Finn's scream. "Get ready to rock!

Quinn and Rachel laughed and shared an excited look with each other. It was awesome to see the guys get just as into their assignment as they had, and the girls started cheering them on as they began to play "Shout It Out Loud."

Rachel's joy was infectious, and Quinn couldn't help but smile as she watched her dance along to the music.

* * *

Rachel's good mood didn't last. Just two days after being all smiles, Quinn found her in the bathroom wiping tears from her eyes in front of the sink.

"What's wrong, Rachel?" Quinn asked, her voice laced with concern as she placed a comforting hand on her back.

"I saw my mother yesterday, and she said she doesn't know how to have a relationship with me right now, so she thinks we should just appreciate each other from afar," she sniffled. "I understand it, but why does it still hurt?"

"Because you feel like she rejected you."

Rachel nodded.

"I know what that's like. My parents don't want me either. They're ashamed of me," Quinn said, swallowing thickly, trying to push her emotions down in an effort to comfort Rachel, who was now looking at her with sympathetic brown eyes. "Ms. Corcoran doesn't seem like she's ashamed of you though. It sounds more like she just doesn't know how to be your mom, but you know, I don't think she needs to be. You have two dads who love you."

"I know," Rachel said with a small smile. "I don't mean to make it sound like I don't appreciate them. I do, and they are amazing."

"You're lucky to have that, you know. I think my father hates me," she said bitterly, dropping her hand from Rachel's back and leaning against the sink beside Rachel. In fact, she _knew_ her father would hate her if he knew how she really felt about the girl standing beside her.

"I'm sorry." It was Rachel's turn to offer comfort, her hand coming to rest on Quinn's back now. She found it soothed her a bit.

"Don't be. I'm the one who messed up by getting drunk and breaking my vow."

"Wait, you mean that was your first time?"

"First and only time," Quinn replied with a bitter smile.

Rachel bit her lip nervously, looking a little guilty.

"What?" Quinn asked, quirking her eyebrow. "You thought I was easy, didn't you, Berry?" she teased, remembering what Jesse had told her.

"I'm sorry, Quinn."

"Don't worry about it," she said with a wave of her hand before turning serious. "I should be the one apologizing. I've said much worse things to you." Her eyes shined with guilt as she remembered all the horrible things she'd done. "God, I was awful to you."

Rachel shrugged and offered her a small smile. "I forgive you. I actually forgave you a long time ago."

Quinn shook her head. "You're something else, Rachel."

She grinned. "I know."

Quinn rolled her eyes and laughed. "And humble too."

They stood there for a moment, just smiling at each other, nearly getting lost in each others' eyes before Quinn lost her nerve and looked away.

Not for the first time, Rachel eyed Quinn curiously, wondering if she was imagining things when it came to the way the other girl looked at her sometimes.

"Thanks," Rachel finally said, her voice breaking the silence that had fallen between them.

"What for?" Quinn asked, finally allowing herself to look at Rachel again.

"For being my friend," she explained with another shy smile.

Before Quinn could respond, Rachel had her arms wrapped around her body in an impulsive hug. Quinn gently placed her own arms around her and smiled.

It felt so good to hold Rachel like this, and having her in Quinn's arms made one thing abundantly clear—Quinn definitely wanted Rachel to be more than just her friend.


	4. Chapter 4

Quinn lay on her left side, cradling her baby bump with her right arm and holding the lamb Rachel had given her to her heart with her left hand, watching the rain fall outside the window of what was now her room. It had been a long, emotional evening at Mr. Schuester's apartment.

After Regionals, glee club would be all but over. Her former cheerleading coach would see to that now that she was one of the judges for the competition. It hurt. The entire club was broken up about it. It was the only place they could truly be themselves in a world filled with trying to keep up appearances—something Quinn was all too familiar with.

But perhaps what was most disheartening of all, Quinn thought, was the shift in Rachel's relationship with Finn. Sure, he could have just been offering Rachel comfort by sitting—very closely, she might add—alongside her in Mr. Schue's living room. After all, Rachel was _really_ upset, and Finn was her closest friend. It made sense for him to be there for her. Still, Quinn knew that he wanted to be more than friends with Rachel. He had been making that clear for months.

And as much as she didn't want to think it, Quinn knew Rachel still felt something for Finn.

Quinn knew she was running out of time, but she still hadn't figured out how she was going to tell Rachel that she liked her. It was completely unknown territory. Truthfully, she was a little afraid that Rachel would find her undesirable. Eight months ago, the thought would have been laughable. _No one_ —girl or boy—at McKinley would have turned her down.

_Oh, how the mighty have fallen._ It wasn't the first time she'd had that thought.

Quinn clutched the stuffed lamb closer to her chest and closed her eyes.

She was in over her head. She needed reinforcements.

* * *

"I have no idea what I'm doing!" Quinn exclaimed. "I've never been the pursuer. I just had to twirl around in my Cheerios uniform, and boys would chase after me. Those kinds of tricks won't work on Rachel."

"True, Rachel is much more dramatic," Kurt agreed. "She'll want some sort of grand gesture, like a serenade in front of the glee club to prove your ability to match her vocally."

Quinn groaned. "I can't do this." She frowned and ran her hand through her hair. "She probably doesn't even feel the same way."

"You don't know that. And why are you giving up so easily?"

"She likes Finn," she said in a defeated tone.

"You have to let her know that she has another option besides Finn."

"But _how_?"

"I already told you how. Your voice."

Quinn looked at Kurt uncertainly. "I don't know if I can put myself out there like that. It's one thing singing about how mad I am at the world—it's another serenading Rachel."

"Why don't you just ask her to make out?" came the sound of Puck's voice. Shocked and wide eyed, Quinn looked up to see him walking into the choir room with his guitar case slung over his shoulder. "That's what I did," he added with a shrug and a smug grin.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Mr. Schue asked me to meet him here to iron out the arrangement of the mashup we're doing at Regionals," he explained, taking a seat next to Quinn on the risers. "But seriously, next time you're hanging out with Rachel, just ask her to make out with you. She'll totally go for it. But make sure you tell me ahead of time so I can be there to watch," he added, waggling his eyebrows.

"Pig!" Quinn swatted his arm as Kurt rolled his eyes, but she was still blushing. "How did you find out that I liked Rachel anyway?" she asked Puck, glancing suspiciously at Kurt, who wore a look of complete innocence. She wondered if this was going to be a repeat of when Mercedes had told the entire glee club sans Finn and Rachel that Puck was the father of her child.

"Besides hearing you talking to Hummel about serenading her just now? Santana told me. She thought it was hilarious that you want her, but I think it's hot."

"Who else knows?" she asked nervously. Even though she had admitted to herself how she felt, she didn't want the whole school to know.

"Relax, I haven't told anyone else," Puck said. "I may think the idea of the two of you together is totally hot, but I know better than to piss you off that much."

"Mercedes and I have kept our lips sealed for once," Kurt added, "but I think it's safe to assume that Santana told Brittany. Neither of them would say anything to anyone outside of glee though. Santana has already assumed her position as top dog in the school hierarchy. She knows better than to rock the boat unnecessarily. Let sleeping dogs lie."

Quinn let out a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, and as long as that Jacob kid doesn't find out, your secret's safe from the rest of the school," Puck said, trying to reassure her. "But seriously, you should tap that."

"Would you shut up?" Quinn rolled her eyes and smacked his arm again.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help!"

"I think what Puck's trying to say in his own perverted way is that you should stop being so afraid and let her know how you feel," Kurt clarified.

"That too," Puck agreed with a grin. "I'll even help you with a song if you want. Anything to make my baby mama happy."

"Thanks, Puck," she said with a genuine smile, but she still felt a touch embarrassed over him knowing what was going on. But she was glad he was being supportive, even if it was in his own idiotic way.

"Cool, so after we place at Regionals, you can sing your way into Rachel Berry's pants."

Quinn didn't know whether to laugh, blush, or smack him again, so she did all three.

* * *

Quinn lay alone in her hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling. She was drained, both mentally and physically. It had been the most emotional day of her life, and now she wasn't sure what to feel. Everything seemed almost bittersweet.

" _Did you love me?"_

" _Yes, especially now."_

Quinn still wasn't sure exactly why she had asked Puck that question, but standing in the nursery earlier, looking at her daughter and knowing that she couldn't keep her, she had to know that it had been worth it. That she wasn't just another hookup.

But despite his answer, Quinn knew the truth—she had been just another conquest. The girl Puck truly loved was Beth, so much that he loved Quinn for letting him be there for her birth. Puck may have wanted Quinn more than any other girl at the moment, but he wasn't in love with her.

And that was okay. In a life filled with seemingly nothing but complications lately, one less piece of drama was welcome.

A soft knock pulled Quinn from her thoughts as she looked over to the door with tired eyes, only to see Rachel standing at the doorway wearing a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. It was the most casual looking Quinn had ever seen her, and she thought Rachel had never looked more beautiful.

"Hey," Quinn said with a soft smile, pleasantly surprised that she had come. She adjusted her bed so that she was now sitting up.

"Hey," Rachel replied softly, approaching Quinn's bed before coming to sit on one of the chairs beside it. "I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier. Someone had to stay at the competition, and everyone thought it should be me since I'm captain. I told Mercedes to keep me updated on everything, which, of course, she did."

"I know. She told me," Quinn replied with a tired smile. "And it's okay that you weren't here. I understand why you had to stay." She paused. "To be honest, I didn't really expect anyone to be here. I'm just glad I wasn't alone."

Rachel looked her with sympathetic brown eyes. "We wouldn't have let you go through it alone. We all care about you, Quinn." Without hesitation, Rachel placed a warm hand over Quinn's, and Quinn found it to be one of the most comforting gestures she'd ever experienced.

A comfortable silence fell between them for a moment before Quinn finally spoke. "I want to thank you."

"For what?"

"Ms. Corcoran came by to see me and Puck earlier. I know you were the one to tell her about our daughter."

Rachel smiled wistfully. "I knew that you still hadn't found a family for her, and when my mom told me she was stepping down as Vocal Adrenaline's coach to start a family, I couldn't deny her that chance."

Quinn nodded but looked at Rachel with concerned eyes. "And you're okay with it?"

"I am," Rachel nodded. "I've come to terms with my relationship with my mom. After what you said to me last week, I realized that what I have right now with my mom is good enough for the time being, and I know that she loves me. I already have two amazing parents, and not everyone is so fortunate."

"Don't I know that," Quinn muttered, looking away.

Rachel frowned and slowly pulled her hand back into her own lap, and Quinn immediately missed the contact. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

Quinn sighed before looking back over to Rachel. "You didn't upset me. I just… it's weird. You know, my mom came to Regionals. I still can't believe she came to see me perform. And she asked me to move back in with her. It was like, _finally_ , after eight months of needing her to be my mom, she finally was." Despite having thought she was all cried out for the day, tears still came to her eyes, although they didn't fall.

Immediately, her hand was once again covered by one of Rachel's. She gave it a light squeeze and smiled sadly at Quinn, who found herself calmed by Rachel's touch.

"I'm glad she was with me for the birth though," Quinn said, noticing not for the first time how easy it was for her to talk to Rachel. "She knew what to do to help get me through it, since she's been there, you know? And she kept me from killing Puck," she finished with a smirk, earning a soft chuckle from Rachel.

"Which I'm sure he was very grateful for. I know how much he wanted to meet his daughter," Rachel said with a soft smile. "I don't think I've ever seen his eyes light up so much as when he talks about Beth."

Quinn couldn't help but feel a little guilty. "I know how badly he wants to keep her, but I just can't. Just because we love her, it doesn't mean that we can give her what she really needs. What she deserves."

"I understand, Quinn," Rachel said with a nod and another squeeze of her hand. "And I know that it wasn't an easy decision."

Quinn felt the warmth of Rachel's caring touch, and it helped to soothe the dull ache in her heart over her decision to give her daughter up for adoption. Of course, she had known for months that she would be giving Beth up, but that didn't make the reality of that decision any easier. In fact, it was harder now that she'd gotten to actually see and hold her baby, yet she knew it was for the best.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Quinn bit her lower lip and nodded before looking up at the ceiling again. She didn't know if she could keep it together if she kept looking at Rachel. Somehow, her touch was all she needed. "When I first found out I was pregnant, I wanted to give her up so I could have my old life back. But after I felt her kick for the first time, I realized that there was a person growing inside me—depending on me to take care of her because I was literally the only one who could—things changed. It wasn't about what I wanted anymore. It was about what she needed. I wanted to give her the best life possible, but I knew that the only way for that to happen was to give her up. Puck might love her and want to be a good father, but he really has no idea how to be one. And I can't be a good mother right now. Giving my daughter up for adoption is somehow the hardest and easiest decision I've ever had to make. I just hope she understands."

"She will," Rachel said determinedly. "Maybe she won't understand it at first, but she'll understand eventually."

Hearing Rachel say those words was a relief, because Rachel knew what it was like to be adopted and struggle with feeling like she was rejected by her birth mother. "Like you did?"

Rachel nodded and smiled at her, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. There was still an air of sadness around her, despite having resolved things with her mother. Then Quinn remembered the disappointing news of their loss at Regionals. Somehow, it had almost slipped her mind with everything else that had gone on today.

"How are you holding up?" Quinn asked suddenly, but Rachel knew what Quinn was referring to.

"Well, I'm upset that we lost today, but, right now, I feel okay, I guess. And I know that not placing means the end of glee club, but, I don't know. That still hasn't really hit me yet. I don't really want to think about it."

"Hey," Quinn said, turning her palm face up and giving Rachel's hand a squeeze, causing Rachel to focus on her. "We'll find a way to get Figgins to not cancel the club."

The determination in Quinn's eyes made Rachel want to believe her.

"Hey," Puck's quiet voice interrupted. Both girls looked up at him as he walked into the room. "You ready to go back to the hotel, Rachel? Visiting hours are almost over, and the nurse on duty is scaring the crap out of me."

Quinn figured Puck would be here as much as the hospital allowed him to be, wanting to spend as much time with his daughter before Ms. Corcoran would take her home. He knew that Quinn had a point, but it was still hard to let his baby go. However, when Ms. Corcoran suggested an open adoption—something that neither of them knew was a possibility—he readily agreed. He would still get to show his daughter how much he loved her.

"You'll be okay on your own?" Rachel asked Quinn.

"I'll be fine. My mom's staying with me tonight. She left to get something to eat a little while ago, but she should be back soon."

"When will you be discharged?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. I probably won't be in school for a few days though."

"Okay, I'll see you when you get back then." Rachel leaned over and gave Quinn a hug, and she returned it, soaking up the smaller girl's warmth as she closed her eyes briefly.

"Thanks for coming," Quinn murmured, holding on to Rachel just a little tighter before letting go.

"Call if you need anything," Rachel replied as she pulled back. "Goodnight, Quinn." She gave her one more smile before stepping out of the room to let Puck say goodnight to Quinn.

"You brought her?" Quinn asked softly as Puck reached down to give her a hug of his own.

He nodded as he pulled back and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "She felt bad that she wasn't here with everyone else when you gave birth. Plus, I think she needed to take her mind off what happened at Regionals. So I took her to see Beth first, then she left to find you. I figured you'd want to see her."

"Thank you," she said.

"Like I've told you before, anything to make my baby mama happy," he said with a wink and a smile.

"How far we've come," she replied with a rueful smile and a shake of her head. "Goodnight, Puck."

"Goodnight, Quinn."

* * *

It was strange being back home. Things were obviously very different now. Her father wasn't there, which meant the oppressive force that had once existed in their house was no longer there. Quinn realized she didn't have to worry about disappointing him anymore, but she couldn't help but wish things were different between the two of them. Her mother was trying hard to make up for where she had failed Quinn—making the effort to be supportive, but also giving Quinn space. She knew they had a long way to go.

Mercedes had dropped by at one point with her meager belongings, most of which Quinn knew she'd end up throwing out since almost everything was maternity wear. The things she would definitely be keeping were the stuffed lamb from Rachel and the pictures of the glee club from throughout the school year.

"So when you get back, we're going to perform a song for Mr. Schue—kind of a thank you to him for teaching us this year."

"What song?"

"'To Sir with Love.'"

Quinn smiled sadly. She loved that song, and she thought it was perfect for their teacher.

* * *

To everyone's surprise, Principal Figgins eventually reversed his decision to end glee club and extended the program for one more year. No one would actually say it, but they suspected that Coach Sylvester had something to do with that. Although, no one could figure out why. Still, they were grateful for it.

However, Quinn's excitement over the continuation of the club was tempered by the sight before her—Rachel resting her head on Finn's shoulder while his massive hand held on to her smaller one.

She couldn't help but feel a pang of wistfulness seeing the two of them together. Rachel actually looked genuinely happy for the first time since before the Jesse and Shelby drama went down. Quinn was glad for that, but she selfishly wished it were her that was making Rachel happy instead of Finn.

"Don't worry. Finn's just a rebound for her. It won't last," Mercedes said, noticing the way Quinn was staring at the pair.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Just a hunch."

* * *

To celebrate the end of the school year and the continuation of glee club, Kurt and Finn threw a party for the gleeks at their house. Santana, Brittany, Mike, Matt, Puck, Rachel, and Tina were currently in the pool, trying to stay cool in the summer heat. Finn was busy grilling burgers and hotdogs, while Artie was in charge of the music.

Quinn sat at the table, which was fortunately shaded from the sun by a canopy. She still wasn't comfortable enough to wear a bathing suit, so Mercedes kept her company while also serving as a useful distraction to what was going on in the pool. Quinn was trying her damnedest not to stare at Rachel in her black bikini by listening intently to Mercedes' latest gossip.

Just then, Kurt came out through the back door holding more chips, walked over to the table, and began to fill up the bowls with more snacks. "Good news," Kurt said quietly, a conspiratorial look coming to his face. "Rachel and Finn aren't officially together. Yet. Finn plans on asking her to be his girlfriend soon though. Possibly tonight. So I suggest you do something about letting her know about any other options she might have, stat."

"What about the song?" Quinn asked, biting her lower lip nervously.

"Forget about the song," Mercedes replied. "Just go get her."

"Okay." Quinn anxiously turned to look toward the pool, only to see Rachel stepping out of the water. She swallowed hard, watching the way the droplets of water trickled down smooth, tan skin.

Rachel felt eyes on her and glanced over toward the table. It wasn't the first time she had caught Quinn looking at her like that, but she still wasn't sure what it meant—if anything—but secretly she hoped there was more to it. Quinn had always intrigued her in more ways than one.

Rachel then reached down to pick up her towel from the edge of the pool, unintentionally giving Quinn the perfect view of her rear.

Quinn let out an involuntary gasp at the sight, causing Kurt and Mercedes to chuckle. Just beyond Rachel's bent over form, she caught sight of Puck waggling his eyebrows at her from his spot in the pool while Santana, who floated alongside him with Brittany, smirked up at her.

Quinn shook her head, trying to focus on what needed to be done. _You can do this,_ she thought to herself as she pushed herself up to stand and walked over to Rachel, who was now wrapped in the towel. Quinn didn't know whether to be disappointed or relieved, but she settled on relief because it meant it would be easier to think. Maybe.

"Hey, Rachel."

"Oh, hey, Quinn," she beamed up at her.

"Can I talk to you?" Quinn noticed Finn watching them curiously out of the corner of his eyes and decided they should probably go somewhere more private. "Alone?"

"Sure," she replied with an easy smile before following Quinn back into the house and downstairs to Kurt's bedroom.

Quinn sat on Kurt's bed—the same place where she had first realized her feelings for Rachel. She thought it oddly fitting.

She patted the spot next to her, indicating that Rachel should sit there, which she did. Rachel looked at her curiously, and she could tell Quinn was anxious.

"What is it, Quinn?" Rachel asked.

Quinn was nervous, but she was determined to tell the other girl what was going on. "Rachel, there's something I need to tell you, and I feel like if I don't tell you now, I'm going to burst." She paused then, momentarily getting lost in the warmth of Rachel's brown eyes—the concern and care clearly evident. It gave Quinn the strength to say what she felt. "I like you, Rachel."

"I like you too, Quinn."

"No. I mean, I _like you_ like you."

"Oh. Oh!" Rachel's eyes widened as she realized what Quinn was saying. "When did that start happening?"

"For awhile, actually. Since freshman year," she admitted sheepishly.

Rachel looked at her disbelievingly.

"It's true. I realized why I was so horrible to you these last couple of years. I was scared of how I felt around you. I didn't understand it. I've never felt like this around anyone else. And I took it out on you. I'm sorry."

Rachel could only stare, too stunned to speak. Quinn liked her. It made sense with the way she had been acting recently, but since freshman year? She couldn't quite wrap her head around that.

Quinn couldn't believe she managed to render Rachel Berry speechless, and had it been any other time, she would have felt a sense of accomplishment. Now, there was some worry creeping in, and in her nervousness, she just kept talking.

"I was going to sing a song in glee club to tell you, but Mr. Schue gave us the summer off, and well, I-"

She was suddenly cut off by soft lips pressing against hers. Quinn's eyes widened in surprise for a second before sliding shut as she got lost in the sensation of kissing Rachel Berry. Nothing had ever felt so good before, and it was easily the greatest experience of her young life.

Growing bolder, Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's back, pulling her closer, and swiped her tongue lightly across Rachel's lower lip. Rachel eagerly reciprocated, allowing Quinn to deepen the kiss as she brought her hands to rest on Quinn's hips, causing Quinn to get lost in Rachel all over again.

When they finally pulled apart, both girls were breathing heavily, their eyes slightly glazed over as they fluttered open and looked at one another.

"Wow," Rachel breathed out.

"Yeah," Quinn replied softly, still somewhat blown away by what had just happened. She hadn't been expecting that at all.

"I'd apologize for just kissing you without asking you first, but you were rambling, and I didn't feel like waiting for you to stop," she explained before smirking a bit at the role reversal. "Somehow I don't think you minded."

"No, that was definitely more than okay," Quinn smiled, lips still tingling from the kiss. "I was just surprised is all."

"I suspected that you may have felt something more than friendly toward me by the way you've been looking at me recently. But I thought maybe I was just imagining things, because, honestly? I didn't even think you liked girls, let alone me."

"You weren't imagining things," Quinn replied. "But if it weren't for Kurt, I don't know if I ever would have owned up to my feelings." She hesitated for a moment, but she had to be sure of what was going on. "I know this may seem like kind of a dumb question since you just kissed me, but how _do_ you feel about me?"

"Well, I've always thought you were very attractive, Quinn, and over the last few weeks, I've really come to enjoy spending time with you. I think it's safe to say that I like you too," replied said with a blush, causing Quinn to smile. But then she remembered the boy whose home they were in. "But, then there's Finn."

Quinn felt her heart drop a bit at the mention of Finn. She had almost completely forgotten that he would factor in somehow. Of course this couldn't be easy. Nothing else was, why should this be any different?

"I like him a lot—he's been a great friend… and I know he wants me to be his girlfriend. Granted, I'm not sure I'm ready for that level of commitment after everything that happened with Jesse, but I more or less know what I'd get being with Finn. However, I have no idea what I'd get being with you."

"To tell you the truth, I hadn't really thought past telling you how I felt. This is all really new for me, you know? But I'd very much like to see where things between us can go. Will you give me a chance, Rachel?" she asked, hopefully.

Rachel considered that for a moment. So much had changed in the last year about what she considered essential in a relationship. She'd thought she'd had those things with Jesse. It was all about "epic romance" as he so succinctly put it, but what she was beginning to realize is that in and of themselves grand gestures mean nothing. Sometimes, the simple things mean so much more.

Like the way Quinn would smile at her or give her hand a gentle squeeze to comfort her. It filled her with such warmth that, in the beginning of their friendship, had taken Rachel by surprise. She had known Quinn had a caring side to her, but she had never had the privilege of seeing it until recently. And she very much liked what she saw.

And it seemed like Quinn wanted to take things slowly, which is what Rachel needed right now. Plus, now that Rachel understood just why Quinn had acted so demeaning towards her in the past, there was a layer of excitement there—it was indicative of the passion that bubbled beneath the surface of Quinn's previously tough but now gentler exterior.

She too wanted to see where this might lead.

Quinn watched with no small amount of anxiousness as Rachel seemed to mull over what she had asked before an impish smile graced her lips. Quinn quirked a questioning eyebrow.

"Okay," Rachel agreed before leaning forward and once again capturing Quinn's lips with her own.

Quinn felt a surge of happiness at Rachel's assent and smiled into the kiss before drawing her closer. She didn't know what the future held, but she was thrilled to have at least been given this chance right now. And as she continued to hold Rachel in her arms, getting lost in the sensation of heated kisses and soft touches, Quinn knew she would do whatever it took to make sure Rachel didn't regret giving it to her.

* * *

_End_


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